Unbearable Sorrow
by NovaIce
Summary: Taking place before and during the events of Silent Hill. This is the story of Walter Sullivan, through his eyes...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Silent Hill characters at all what so ever! I also want to thank Brady Games for the Timeline to make it possible for my fanfic. My chapters that I will be posting up WILL contain memos from Joseph Schreiber. So beware of his journals if you do not wish to spoil the game itself. I'm also trying my best to make it like the game, so give me some credit for at least trying. With a last thanks to Kanomi for making the game, I give you the first chapter... **

**Chapter 1 - The Beginning**

_**Silent Hill Timeline **_

_**34 Years Ago **_

_**Newborn Walter Sullivan Abandoned in South Ashfield Heights Apartment **_

_**Frank Sunderland, the superintendent of South Ashfield Heights, discovered the child in Apartment 302 shortly after his birth and called an ambulance. The child was taken to St. Jerome's hospital and given to the Wish House orphanage to be raised. Sunderland, for reasons unknown, kept the child's umbilical cord. The whereabouts of the young couple remain unknown. **_

Frank Sunderland wondered the halls of Ashfield Heights, going about his business, but was focused more on something else. Other people staying on the third floor of the Apartment Building complained about strange noises that sounded like cries. Frank decided to investigate, continuing to hear their complaints.

Neighbors said they have heard it from Room 302, so Frank headed there first. His key slipped in the door, unlocking the main, basic lock. As soon as he opened the door, a damp, rotting smell filled the air. It grew unbearable. Frank covered his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. He then pushed on, continuing to look around the apartment.

The apartment was left empty. Signs of packing in quite a hurry was identified. The Living Room was messy and papers laid all over the ground. A chair even laid on the ground, flat. There was blood soaked in the carpet, leading down the small hallway and into the Bedroom. The door to the Bedroom was left wide open. That is where the stench was, as he walked down there, it grew stronger. Frank felt as though he was about to gag, but at the same time he couldn't do it at this moment.

Frank then saw it, an umbilical cord laying on the ground, unexplainable. The umbilical cord was still wet, claiming that the people who were here recently left. Stunned, Frank looked up, his eyes grew more questionable. There was a newborn, crying for attention. He ran up to the child, wrapping it in the blanket that was on the bed.

Frank quickly came to his senses, calling an ambulance. The ambulance immediately arrived. The police were soon behind them. They searched the apartment thoroughly. Nothing else was found within the apartment, other than the fact that it was torn apart and a baby was abandoned, The one thing that caught their attention was a piece of ripped paper was on the floor. The name must have been given to the child without hesitation. That name was Walter Sullivan.

After the police left, Frank took the child's umbilical cord, not saying anything. Perhaps it was some sort of reminder that the world could be cruel in such a way. At least the child was safe. Walter was taken to St. Jermone's hospital to be taken care of. If the baby was still in good condition, then an orphanage would be glad enough take care of the child. Even the broken spirit of the child. It was nothing more than to leave young Walter in a safe instead of abandonment,

Frank cleaned Room 302, leaving no evidence left of the scene. Even traces of the young couple that left. Sadly enough, Frank knew it would be difficult to track down the couple. The Sullivan family just simply disappeared, It was yet another fate with the twisted world.

Taking the umbilical cord back to his room, Frank found a red box, small and portable to put the umbilical cord inside. It was never to be mentioned again. Even now, Frank never again wanted to see a case like Walter Sullivan's. But nothing could change fate anymore than it already has.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - An Awakening**

_**Teaching Despair: "Wish House" **_

_**"Wish House," an orphanage on the outskirts of Silent Hill. But behind it's false image is a place where children are kidnapped and brainwashed. Wish House is managed by the "Silent Hill Smile Support Society," a charity organization sometimes called "4S". **_

_**It's true that 4S is a well-respected charity that "takes in poor children without homes and raises them with hope." **_

_**But at it's heart it is a heathen organization that teaches its own warped dogma in lieu of good religious values. **_

_**Mr. Smith (temp), who lives near "Wish House," had this to say: "Sometimes at night I can hear their weird prayers and the sounds of children  
crying. I went there to complain one time, but they ran me right out. Since then it hasn't changed a bit." **_

_**In fact, this reporter was refused admission when he attempted to take photographs in the facility. **_

_**What exactly do the folks at "Wish House" have to hide? **_

_**During my investigations I was able to discover, however, a suspicious-looking round concrete tower which appears to be part of their facilities. **_

_**Unfortunately no one was willing to tell us what the tower was used for. But it seems unlikely that it has anything to do with the business of raising orphans. It may in fact be a prison or a secret place of worship. **_

_**The cult religion that operates "Wish House" is known by the locals simply as "The Order." **_

_**It's a religion that is deeply interwoven with Silent Hill's history. But it's worshippers' fervent belief that they are among the elite "chosen people" has a dark and dangerous side. **_

_**I intend to continue my investigation of "Wish House" and the cult behind it. I've always believed that "telling the whole truth" and showing the children the true path is our most important duty. **_

_**Joseph Schreiber**_

_"Abandoned at such a young age." _

_I would never forget those words. Being a kid was hard. Sometimes even I wonder who I am. My current age is 19, I have started a new life outside of The Order's orphanage called Wish House. I am currently attending college and making very little friends. Everything is going well, but I am constantly thinking about my past... Eileen Galvin... The Order... My past must have really started when I was six. I don't remember anything before that. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to remember anything past that point, but I guess that's all my memories wish for me to remember. _

_The Wish House always trying to manipulate me in the way of The Order, but nothing is seeming to "turn" me to their side. It's all just nonsense to me really. I was only raised there, nothing else. What's really bothering me is that they call me a "chosen one." I shouldn't let something that ironic get to me. Maybe I should talk to George Rosten, perhaps he can get some of the members off my case. _

_I guess I can call George an adoptive father. He raised me some what like a son. But mainly he was the one that tried to have me understand about what was called the "21 Sacraments." _

_George said to have put Valtiel inside my mind, my unconscious thoughts. How can I believe him? It's just one of their gods that they follow. I just don't understand what Valtiel is really supposed to do... _

_Walter Sullivan_

I stood up from my desk, closing my journal. I was able to stretch for a moment before looking abound my dorm once again. It was small, yet suitable. A comfortable bed, a desk, and a few other things laying around. But at least I have something to live under while going to college. Everything was silent, but it was the good type of silence you would get while wanting, wishing to relax. It was growing late and I knew that I had a test tomorrow. I crawled into bed, feeling my body let go of pressure. It had been a long day and I was exhausted. I once again started dream. The same dream I had last night. The dream of Silent Hill.

_I was standing in the town, fog covering each part of the town as like an old ghost town. It was immediately deserted for no reason. The only odd thing is that I felt safe within the place, as if it was created by me... no one else. But something was missing, as if I was searching for something. It was as if I was searching for somewhere I belonged. _

_Creatures roamed the same world I was in. They too seemed to be searching for something. I did not understand what they were searching for though. All I could focus on was how my mind raced about my Mother. My feet ran, not knowing which way to head accurately. I felt my heart throbbing, aching with pain. Nothing could describe what I could even sense anymore. _

_My eyes blacked out and before I could notice, I was a kid once again. In a past that I remembered clearly. I was standing outside Room 302, anticipating, wanting to see Mother. I just wanted to see mom again. There was only one problem... I couldn't. No one was letting me in the Room. The current residents were telling me, almost yelling for me to leave. They claimed that I was "annoying" them. I felt myself crying and tears were burning in my eyes. I wanted to find a way to wake up Mother again. No one understood what I truly wanted anymore. _

_Heading back to Wish House, I could find myself wondering, questioning what I needed to do to get my Mother back. But I still needed to learn like everyone else I knew. The Wish House was not really quiet when I arrived. Many children were running around, having fun. I walked to a back room. As I entered, there was an alter in my sights and it was brightly lit. The room itself was not as bright. The only light that was reflecting in the area was the candles on the alter. _

_Two people were in the room. Jimmy Stone and George Rosten. The two who raised me, but the main person who raised me basically all the time was George. He was also known as Jimmy's "right-hand man." But like Jimmy, George was so intoned with The Order. George was so insane to the point where he actually wanted me to learn. He did strange things that I did not agree with most of the time. It was mainly because it was so... frightening. George sometimes seemed as though he wanted me involved in some sort of "sacrifice" to the old gods. Valtiel being one of the old gods. Valtiel also had a connection with the "21 Sacraments." _

_"Walter, I see you have returned from visiting your mother." Jimmy says, breaking my concentration. "Do you know how she is today?" _

_"She's still sleeping." I answered with an upset voice. "You still need to tell me how I can wake her up." _

_"Dahlia will help you with that Walter, but first I have something to attend."_

Sweat started dripping down my forehead, I woke up from the nightmare. "Dahlia." My voice whispers intensely.

I settled myself down, looking at my clock. It was only two in the morning. I closed my eyes trying to rest again. My heart was trying to calm down. The sound of my own breathing was helping me to relax and not think of my memories. Darkness sank deep into my eyes. I was lulled to sleep by the sound of silence that lurked in the air again. It was good to know that nothing was going to happen.

_**Silent Hill Timeline **_

_**28 Years Ago **_

_**6-Year-Old Walter Returns to South Ashfield Heights, Room 302 **_

_**Young Walter Sullivan, still a ward of the Silent Hill Wish House, begins commuting weekly to South Ashfield Heights and hanging around outside Room 302, annoying the apartment's current residents. The weekly visits to Room 302 continue well into his teenage years. **_

I remember that I would find time to do weekly visits... I continued visiting Mother, knowing that I could only find very little time to see her before The Order wished to arrange for their ceremonies. Maybe I should start visiting mom again. I would really like to see her. I felt my tongue go dry as that thought entered my mind. My thoughts were racing even though I knew it was too early to think about that, now waking up in the morning. My clock reading a little past eight o-clock.

I got up, hesitating on my thoughts. All I really want to focus on was my test. It would be a good couple of hours before hand, that's what bothered me even more. I wanted answers so I was debating if I should head to the outskirts of Silent Hill. I needed to see George. The dreams I've been having weren't normal and I was remembering memories more often than I was. They were coming more frequently.

Gathering my thoughts, I got ready for the morning, picking out a decent shirt and pair of jeans. I then slipped on my jacket, heading to Silent Hill. I walked the streets rather quickly. I knew time couldn't be wasted. If George didn't know the answer to my question, then I knew someone close to him. I just mainly wanted to know what George claimed to put "inside" my mind, possibly confusing my thoughts... Valtiel.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - The Unknown **

_**Silent Hill Timeline **_

_**18 Years Ago **_

_**Walter Sullivan Meets Eileen Galvin **_

_**16-year-old Water meets South Ashfield Heights resident Eileen Galvin (then a young girl). She gives him her doll as a present, which is presumably not yet shabby. **_

_"Excuse me." A sweet, light voice speaks. "I've been noticing you around here a lot recently." _

_I was leaning up against the wall near Room 302, the person who was speaking was a little girl, it reminded me of myself when I was about her age. She had short brown hair and what looked like similar to my eyes; brown gold mixed with a more of green. There was a gentle look on her face. _

_I decided to respond with a nod, nothing else. I couldn't really say much since I really didn't know what to say. But even if I did respond, I wouldn't think it would change what was on her mind. _

_With a smile, she looked into my eyes. "My name is Eileen, Eileen Galvin." _

_I still didn't respond. I looked away, not saying a word that was on my mind. All I could really do was nothing. No one has spoken to me politely or even introduced themselves like Eileen did. On the other hand, a little girl like her would probably think something else about what I was and wouldn't think about it twice if I even told her. _

_"You must be lonely." Eileen points out. "Here, I want you to have this. I've always seen you around, I just haven't had the chance to give this to you." _

_Eileen handed out something that was in her hands. It was a doll, black and white colored. The material was shabby and looked as though it was still in a good condition. I reached for the doll and smirked. I guess she wanted to give it to me for some sort of good reason. _

_"I don't need it anymore, but I thought you would like it." Eileen said with her sweet voice. _

_I continued to watch as Eileen gave an acknowledging nod. She still was smiling to try and "brighten up" my day. The thought of that gave me a sort of hope. At least someone within the apartment building wished to care. I knew that the smallest thing can make a difference. _

_"Thank you, I'll be sure to keep this safe." My dry voice responds. _

_I gripped the doll in my hand, not really knowing how to organize my thoughts. My head lifted up as Eileen ran down the hall of the third floor. _

_She stops, looking back at me. "I hope to see you again." _

_Eileen continued, disappearing down the hallway. Perhaps to catch up with a family member. Maybe a parent. _

_I glanced down at the doll once more. It was a present I was going to keep for a long time. Or at least I had a feeling I was going to... I swallowed hard, letting my feelings overtake my thoughts. With a smile, I headed back down to the Wish House. they wanted to plan for my future so that I would no longer be a "ward" soon. _

_**"The Descent of the Holy Mother -- The 21 Sacraments" **_

_**The First Sign  
And God said,  
At the time of fullness, cleanse the world with my rage.  
Gather forth the White Oil, the Black Cup and the Blood of the Ten Sinners.  
Prepare for the Ritual of the Holy Assumption.  
The Second Sign  
And God said,  
Offer the Blood of the Ten Sinners and the White Oil.  
Be then release from the bonds of the flesh, and gain the Power of Heaven.  
From the Darkness and Void, bring forth Gloom,  
and gird thyself with Despair for the Giver of Wisdom.  
The Third Sign  
And God said,  
Return to the Source through sin's Temptation.  
Under the Watchful eye of the demon, wander alone in the formless Chaos.  
Only then will the Four Atonements be in alignment.  
The Last Sign  
And God said,   
Separate from the flesh too, she who is the Mother Reborn and he  
who is the Receiver of Wisdom.  
If this be done, by the Mystery of the 21 Sacraments, the Mother shall be reborn  
and the Nation of Sin shall be redeemed. **_

As I looked down at the piece of paper, my thoughts started to overwhelm. I was now trying to figure out why the "21 Sacraments" were so important. It must have been written by a psychotic person. But another part of me was trying to have me accept it.

Being raised by the Order has been difficult, but in some ways I accepted them no matter how crazy or insane their "religion" was. At least I wasn't abandoned like I heard when was a child. That's probably the main reason why I don't complain and just ask questions. The Wish House was where I grew up. No matter how many times I build up the courage with the thought of even running away, I couldn't.

In a way, the orphanage was my family. So in some good reason out there, The Order was a way of life for me, knowing that they were generous to welcome me into their arms. But the thought of Valtiel put inside my subconscious... my mind... sound like something impossible. It was just a God. Then again, I've heard the Old Gods working in mysterious ways.

George had claimed once I started getting older, Valtiel would be able to control me, or that's what his friend Jimmy told him. Over and over I kept questioning how would it even be possible to even "control" someone's mind with a God. I wanted questions to be answered, so that's why I was now here, standing in the Wish House again.

"The Holy Scripture you're holding has been passed on for generations. We believe that it's possible to have it arise." George's voice breaks my concentration as he entered upon the small room. "I finally see you've come back after a long time."

My face turned bitter. "George, I only came here for answers. Now give me an explanation."

"What would you like an explanation about, Walter?" George seemed as though he was not surprised. He did however, show some interest.

"You and your friend have information I would like to know about." I cut the small talk, getting easily annoyed.

George raised an eyebrow, soon noticing the "21 Sacraments" in my right hand. He walks up to the alter that stood alone in the shadows, lighting a few candles. I could tell that he was searching for words. George placed his hands on the edge of the alter after he was done lighting the candles. George really didn't know what to say. His voice was bound to speak, but was unable to say the "right" word.

"What I want to know is what Valtiel does." I felt my anger rising to my demanding thoughts. "Why is the "21 Sacraments so important for the "Holy Mother"...?" I grew speechless fast, catching what I said.

With a small smile, George nodded. "Many have been wishing to see her, Walter. We all believe it's your turn to do what the Gods have asked. Valtiel should never be convinced as an enemy, but as a friend. Valtiel is there to guide you and help you with the 21 Sacraments to wake up the Holy Mother." I never heard him sound so confident before. "That way we can arise with the paradise God has meant us to have."

"Valtiel..." My thoughts spoke allowed. "What is Valtiel anyway? What is "it" exactly?"

"An Agent of God. He is one of the several in helping on creating Paradise once again." He explains. "There are many Agents of God, Walter. Valtiel just decided to choose you. That's why I placed him within your body. Remember, Valtiel is here to help you." George walks past me, stopping at the door, reaching for the door knob slowly. Still focusing on the knob, he spoke again. "If you wish to know more, see Mr. Stone. Jimmy will tell you more about Valtiel since he is the founder of him after all. Then maybe from there, you'll understand why we call Jimmy and Valtiel the "Red Devil."

Looking down at the "Holy Scripture" as George left the room, I noticed one of my questions were just about answered. I knew now that I would need to pay Jimmy Stone a visit. I glanced around for an indication on time. I then remember that I had a watch on my left wrist. It read 8:45 A.M. I made a quick decision to speak to Jimmy later. I needed to head by to my College in Pleasant River. I didn't want to be late.

_**Book Scrap **_

_**Through the Ritual of the Holy Assumption, he built a world.  
**_

_**It exists in a space separate from the world of our Lord.  
**_

_**More accurately, it is within, yet without the Lord's world. **_

_**Unlike the world of our Lord, it is a world in extreme flux. **_

_**Unexpected doors or walls, moving floors, odd creatures, a world only him can  
control...  
**_

_**Anyone swallowed up by that world will live there for eternity, undying.  
They will haunt that realm as a spirit. **_

_**How can our Lord forgive such an abomination...? **_

_**(This part of the book is too damaged to read.) **_

_**...It is important to travel lightly in that world. He who carries too heavy  
a burden will regret it... **_

_**(The book is too damaged to read any more.) **_

I couldn't really get a decent sleep later on that night. I was pondering about Valtiel, Jimmy Stone, "God", even the "21 Sacraments". I even continued thinking about the "Holy Scripture." Nothing was making any sense to me still. I needed more information. I wanted to know why I was chosen by Valtiel.

With a restless night now ahead of me, I fell into a fitful sleep, not caring about school at the moment. I was once again dreaming of Silent Hill, but this time my dream was different. It was going to prove harder to wake up from this dream.

_I needed to find a way to get out, no matter what the consequences. But all I could do was stare into an endless abyss. I then saw "him." Valtiel was now standing before me, waiting for me to come to my senses. It was as he was waiting for me to say something... _

_Afraid to talk, I tried my best to speak. "Agent of God, right? What do you want from me?" _

_"Walter your time will come. Your first Sacrament will be the "Red Devil", but only will you make that decision for yourself." _

_"You were founded by Jimmy. There is nothing I would do to even be convinced about killing someone who raised me." _

_"But he wished to be part if the 21 Sacraments, does he not?" Valtiel questions. "You know when that day will come when you can set him free. Soon that day will come." _

_I backed up, shaking my head. "You're wrong!" _

_I felt myself run out of Silent hill, soon running straight into darkness. My thoughts were beginning to cloud. My mind was screaming. That was the first time that I've actually seen Valtiel. I just hoped that it would be my last visit with Valtiel. The other thought I was hesitating about was him actually controlling me. Could it be possible? I was now getting more concerned. My heart sank of this thought. If he was to appear again, I would need to fight him off or keep running. No one, not even this so called "Agent of God" had no control over MY life._


End file.
